To do

Items to complete before the weekend:

finish bsg report
finish prelim data for arena hershey
read netflix case
finish crafting library presentation
begin crafting arena sim comp presentation
3 classes

gah.

Currently listening to Dance of the Manatee by Fair to Midland.

Five courses

Somone that goes to the same college I do (or at least to go here, some details point that she may have dropped out earlier) committed suicide on April 4, 2008. A notice was sent out via email today along with the appropiate condolances. That makes this the second suicide at my college in two years. I didn't really know either of them, though I think the most recent used to make me sandwiches in the caf. She seemed chipper enough then, but that was over two years ago.

I still need a job.

I also need to finish all these projects I've been putting off. There's my "second senior project" that I'm doing. I need to finish gathering data, run the data in simulation, compile the results, and make a pretty presentation.

I then need to finish the three projects for one class: Help write a group paper on a simulated company we ran during the semester; help research Netflix and then craft a presentation regarding its current strategy and where it should go from there; and write an individual report on a company regarding the same subject matter.

Geophysics is just a bunch of reading and one small presentation project. At least I don't have any finals except for keyboarding, which continues to go well.

This weekend was the school's Junior/Senior Dance Banquet thing. I heard it wasn't all that great; at least the food wasn't. I didn't go since it was too expensive and I knew it wasn't going to be all that great, so instead we had our own Junior/Senior in the quad. We all dressed up, had some other people over (11 total to be exact), and had a great meal. My roommates and I made a five-course meal consisting of:

1. Appetizers of stuffed mushrooms and jalepeno poppers.
2. Garden Salad
3. Choice of either Seafood Linguine (Linguine in a white-wine sauce served with topping of scallops, mussels, clams, and shrimp) OR Chicken Parmesean over linguine.
4. Dessert choice of Chocholate Cake with Peanut Butter Chocholate Icing with a vanilla pudding center OR Baked Apple Cobbler with vanilla Ice Cream
5. Coffee
   
   30.

Arena Complete

The Arena models are complete, executed, and data collected. Report and Executive Summary are complete. Models and Report have been sent.

Now I just have to wait until April 10th until I find out if I'm going to Vancouver.

Arena

This is probably going to be a disjointed post.

The Arena competition is nearing completion. Models are built and work for the most part. Now we just have to get the data and put it into the proper parts of the report. Finally, we have to make a final recommendation and write up the executive summary. It's due in approximately 26 hours.

The other Arena project is still underway and proprietary.

I have 3 reports/presentations due for one class before the end of the semester.

At least Geophysics and Keyboarding are easy. Playing the piano is relaxing.

I'm afraid that once the Arena project is done that I'm going to lose all my time management framework of mind, and I'll play video games all day. O well.

Disturbed's new song "Inside the Fire" is cool. At least in terms of vocals, rhythm, and music. The lyrics are a little foreboding. It's a song about David, the lead singer. According to interview transcripts, when he was younger his girlfriend threatened to kill herself if he broke up with her. He did so and she actually ended up killing her self. The theme of the song also speaks of the Devil telling him to do the same. Interesting, nonetheless. Link above is to Ruckus download.

I'm more philosophical at home. Perhaps it's the lack of music, lack of games, lack of work, lack of other outlets for my thoughts. Perhaps it's the presence of other philosophical people. Maybe a combination of all the above.

Is anyone really content being single? Were people in history, at the time of the Mayflower, Revolution, and so on, happy with their relationships? Obviously human experience spans generations, but the modes and speeds in which these experiences present themselves have changed drastically. One large difference that one could point to is that of arranged marriages. To have your parents ascertain the person best suited for their child before desire for a relationship event presents itself. Parents often know what's best. After all, maximize control and minimize variability, inconsistency.

Shock
Denial
Anger
Sadness
Acceptance

Since it's March Madness and all: Rebound.

As signified by the checkboxes above, I think I'm good. There stand the five stages of grief. I will admit I was definitely was looking for someone to fill the void of not having someone to call at 2am any morning if I needed to, to be completely myself around, to hug and hold, and so on and so forth. But being in a relationship is so much more than those little things. Not that the little things don't matter. "Catch the foxes for us, The little foxes that are ruining the vineyards." Ref.

Back to the topic of happiness based on relationship status. Everyone, for the most part, wants to be in a relationship. I am no different. But I've reached the point that I'm content without being so. Apparently the one month of rebound per one year of the relationship was surprisingly accurate. I don't think I have anything else to write now.

30.

Different - The Idea

Watch the movie titled "Different - The Idea" here.

Cayra

Cayra is a pretty awesome program. It allows you to quickly make "mindmaps."

• A mind map is a diagram used to represent words, ideas, tasks or other items linked to and arranged radially around a central key word or idea. It is used to generate, visualize, structure and classify ideas, and as an aid in study, organization, problem solving, decision making, and writing. - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindmaps
  

Now I can easily make non-linear to do lists!

Cayra is free to download, though you need to have Microsoft .NET Framework 3.0 installed.

Personality Profile

From a personality questionaire that breaks the population into four groups:

Congratulations, Adam, you are a RED personality. The Core Motivation that drives you through life is "Power". Power means the ability to get things done, to go from A to B as quickly and directly as possible. The word power was derived from the Old French poeir meaning "to be able." Often what is perceived by the other colors as insensitive is simply a pragmatic sense of urgency to accomplish a given task.

As a RED you naturally seek productivity and want others to see you as intellectually strong. As REDS want their own way, you like to be in the driver's seat and are willing to pay the price to be in a leadership role even in an intimate relationship. However, you can get frustrated when your partner cannot think for herself or make intelligent decisions on her own. As a RED, you tend to value whatever gets you ahead in life, whether it is at work, school, or in your personal relationships. What you value, you get done. You may be a workaholic and enjoy it!. You will, however, resist being forced to do anything that doesn't interest you.

As a RED, Adam, you like to be right. You value approval from others for your intelligence and solution-based, pragmatic style. You want to be respected even more than you want to be loved, and you appreciate admiration for your logical, practical mind.

Laser Elevator

Link post:

Laser Elevator from xkcd blag.

(Warning: link contains some coarse language)

Peacefulness

Walking back from work last night was very peaceful. A warm breeze was blowing from the south. The tall plants and trees waved back and forth, lazily in the night. A few passive raindrops fell from the sky, pitter-pattering on the pavement on which I tread. The wind brought the smell of a sweet spring rain. There was no one else around; lights from the town shone steadily while those of distant radio tower blinked on and off slowly. As I neared the end of my walk I heard the quiet sloshing of the nearby stream. I was in no hurry this night; I was nearly deliberate in taking my time. I took the chance to take in the sights, sounds, perceptions around me; to reflect.

I thought about how this peaceful scene I interpret could be seen in a much different way if the perspectives were different: A mother duck awakens to find her nest being invaded by a local denizen of feline variety. In the creek, a fish struggles for its life in the rain-swollen creek as it is dashed against rocks in the violent current. A young plant grapples for stability in the loose sod against the wind of the night.

And so I realized that our perception of the world's state of being is greatly effected by our inner state of being. In this night, I was at peace. And hence, the world I saw was at peace. The world I saw was peaceful. And therefore, I was peaceful.

While this may be surprising to some, to myself in fact, at that moment I felt completely content. Given, I was not focused on my search for employment, looking for a house, money. Nor was I worried about the duck, fish, or plant. But if I were given to worry, those would be the things I would worry about most. I feel content in all other areas of my life. After all, contentedness is being contented with your situation in life. Not everything must be in perfect order, in perfect place, in perfect health, in perfect condition in order for one to be content.

Perhaps next time I'll write on the balance of contentedness and mediocrity.

Also, I thought this was interesting. Facebook recently began placing ads based on personal information. For example, job searches for seniors, dating services for single people, etc. This recently appeared in my ad bar area:

Apparently Facebook even records the change in relationship statuses for advertising purposes. Freaky.

Currently listening to: Icon of Coil

Pain Avoidance

The following is something I wrote on paper some time ago. Unfortunetly it is not dated, but I'm guessing it was written sometime during Winter Break of 2007-2008. Enjoy. Another blog entry to follow tomorrow evening at approximately 20:00.

"

It's been a long while since I've written. And so I've decided to write. Writing frees the soul; perhaps that's why my soul has been so restless recently.

When I update on my blog, I feel it necessary to tell the world what affects me from the outside, perhaps allowing people to infer whit I feel on the inside. Such an allowance is dangerous; people may misinterpret said facts, thinking I'm sad when I'm happy, or happy when in fact I'm sad. Not that I would share my emotions anyway.

Who cares what words flow from this pen (or pencil even)? What makes anyone's words important? Do people read the Times to look important? Or read the Wall Street Journal just because their professors require it of them?

Nay. While there may exist these people reading for reasons impure, the majority read for one reason. Truth. The need to be in the know. Tabloids and made-up stories aside, people want to know what's going on around them, inside them. And accurately.

And hence, my words are not valueless. The human experience is generally the same. Situations, and the feelings that arise from these situations, span generations, civilizations, and space and time. It is a basic psychological premise.

The things I feel have been felt by many before me, and will be felt by many after me.

Pain without love. Love with pain. Pain.

In this unjust, imperfect world pain will be felt by all, be it physical, mental, emotional. I submit that people live their lives trying to minimize pain. People want a good job to make money to avoid financial hardship, financial pain. Everyone tries to avoid getting hurt, in basic nature. People avoid situations where they feel uncomfortable, or where they will be rejected. Sex does not drive people; pain avoidance is their goal.

People may even make others feel pain, just so they can avoid pain. Or people may endure more pain, so that another experiences less. When a society is added to the mix (friends, family, and all other human interaction), it becomes the matter of balancing one's pain avoidance versus an acceptable level of pain to others, or perhaps, in fact, pain-minimization of others.

Every decision made [is such], cost-benefit, pain-gain, and so it goes. A complex web of interactions, and a decision that will cause some pain, and others gain.

"